5 Practices to Combat Back to School Jitters
Since 2020 school anxiety has skyrocketed for kids, parents and school staff. Covid, school shootings, polarization and the mounting pressure of performance continues to be our reality. As we enter this next school year, you may be experiencing various emotions and so may your child. The 2022 school year didn’t exactly end hopeful and re-entering this school year may not be so exciting.
Although we cannot individually “fix” what is wrong, there are some things we can do to help our kids (and ourselves) through the next couple weeks before school starts. Here’s 5 Things to start combatting back to school jitters:
Identify your emotions about this upcoming school year. Sometimes simply naming what you are feeling can put words on those tough emotions, allowing you to begin to cope. An emotion wheel can be very helpful for those who have a hard time assessing language for their feelings. You can print this Emotion Wheel for Kids or this Emotion Wheel for Adults for quick access to check in with yourself or your kids. Naming emotions makes one feel seen and heard, making them more apt to talk about what is going on inside.
Externalize it. Use a journal, a poster, sidewalk chalk…whatever you feel is appropriate, and externalize your emotions. Write out all the worries in the form of “what if” statements. Somehow the process of getting this on paper gets it out of your brain and loosens the grip of its power. In “The Unworry Book” by Usborne it says to draw these worries in the shape of a monster or blob to signify that these worries are separate from you. I remember my child’s counselor saying to give this monster a name to signify that the worries were completely separate from my child. This helped my child take control of them.
Flip the Script. Take those “what if’s” and see if you can flip them. For example: “What if no one likes me?” can be flipped to “What if I make a really good friend this year?” “What if I fail this hard class?” can be flipped to “What if I learn some really interesting things in this class? What if I learn some really great study skills that will serve me after high school is over?” What are your worries and how can you flip them? This is not looking at the bright side and trying to create positive statements, this is genuinely looking at the realities of what could actually happen. Being able to see possibilities can help with those back to school jitters.
Circles of Control. Big Life Journal is one of my favorite resources and they talk about the “circles of control.” Get a piece of paper and divide it into two halves. Fill the paper with circles. Inside the circles in one half, write everything you can control. The other side is full of what you cannot control. For example, you cannot control if your teacher likes you. But you can control how you interact in the classroom, if you complete your assignments, and do your best in class. You can’t control if you get a leading role in the school play, but you can control how you prepare and what you learn in the process. You can’t control if you get sick, but you can control your hygiene and nutrition habits.
What are things you can look forward to? We cannot avoid some of these things that cause worry. But there are always things we can look forward to. It helps our family to have a wall calendar to put these things out in writing. We are fortunate to have a school break in September where we will go to a cabin. I put that on the calendar and somehow knowing that it is coming gives us all the energy we need to get through those last couple weeks before the break, even though they can be stressful. What are some things you can plan to look forward to? Maybe a day at the neighborhood pool (those of us in the South have pools open through Labor Day), a weekend hike, ice cream or popsicles every Friday, family movie and pizza on a weekend night? Rhythms help greatly with anxiety.
Anxiety surrounding back to school is normal, and it’s expected that it would be heightened surrounding this start to school year in particular. With some intentionality, you can help your child and yourself cope by implementing these 5 strategies. This is not an exhuastive list, there are many other things out there that can help. The Peaceful Parent Journey, my free online course, is a great place to start.
Wishing you and yours a happy and healthy, less stress filled, start of school!
